Here is the complete blog post, combining the insights from both parts of the transcript into a cohesive narrative.

Are You a Giver or a Taker? The Art of Building Your Personal Community

Good morning and welcome to the Choices Podcast.

We are growing, evolving, and learning every single day. As we look toward January 2026—where we’ll be taking the show to the next level with high-profile guests, federal judges, and athletes—we want to pause and focus on the foundation of recovery and life.

That foundation is Community.

But before you can build a community, you have to answer a hard question. There is no fence-riding here.

Are you a giver, or are you a taker?

You are either a taker—worried only about yourself—or you are a giver who pours into the people around you. Today, we’re talking about how to build your “Personal Community” and how to serve it with grace, humility, and action.

The Art of “Quiet Giving”

Real giving isn’t about the applause. We’ve all seen the “Pharisees” of the world—people who fast or pray on the street corner just to be seen.

True giving requires humility.

“Keep your mouth shut. Show humility. Show grace.”

When you help someone, do it for them, not for your reputation.

• The Judge Kinkade Example: When tragedy strikes, everyone is your best friend for a week. But a true member of your community calls you 30 days later, when the silence sets in, to remind you that your loss wasn’t for nothing.
• The Rehab Example: Sometimes, giving back means visiting a friend in a treatment facility and just sitting there while they sleep. It’s not about conversation; it’s about presence. It’s about respecting their boundaries and their dignity.

Action Over Words: “Just Do It”

One of the biggest traps we fall into is asking, “What do you need?”

People who are hurting or proud often won’t tell you. Instead of asking, observe and act. Service is action, not talk.

• Don’t ask. Just drop off the meal.
• Don’t ask. Just roll up your sleeves, take off your shoes, and help your neighbor pour concrete because you see they are struggling (a small act that can change the trajectory of someone’s life).
• Don’t ask. Just step in and support a project you believe in. (Like the Metal Roundtable podcast—a simple act of benevolence that saved a show and impacted 1,200 listeners).

As we say on the show: DBAP. Just do it.

The Locker Room Effect: Your Workplace Community

We often forget that our coworkers are a massive part of our personal community. When athletes retire, they don’t miss the drills; they miss the locker room. They miss the camaraderie.

You have the power to build that “locker room” culture at your job.

It doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as ensuring your team knows you value them as human beings, not just employees.

• Create Culture: At my law firm, I buy everyone a turkey and a pecan pie for Thanksgiving. Why? because I don’t want them working. I want them enjoying their families.
• The Result: When people feel cared for, the entire attitude of the workplace shifts. They feel good being there.

How to Give Back: Your Action Plan

You don’t need to be rich or famous to build a community. You just need to care. Here is how you can give back to the four pillars of your life right now:

1. To Your Community

Look for the gaps. If you see a need—whether it’s a neighbor overwhelmed with a home project or a family at church who lost their SNAP benefits—don’t wait for a committee meeting. Step in. Sometimes, helping someone physically labor or putting food on their table is the most spiritual thing you can do.

2. To Your Family

Be the advocate. Advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves. Whether it is an aging parent or a child navigating a tough system, be their voice. Show up, not just when it’s easy, but when it’s messy.

3. To Your Friends

The “Random Call” Rule. If you get a prompting or a “still small voice” telling you to call an old friend, do it immediately. Don’t overthink it.

• The 30-Day Rule: Be the person who checks in a month after the funeral.
• The Privacy Rule: If a friend is struggling (like in rehab), respect their space. Manage the visitors. Protect their dignity. It’s not about you being the hero; it’s about them getting well.

4. To Your Coworkers

Build the culture. You don’t have to be the boss to change the vibe. Be the person who creates a “safe locker room.”

• Send the text after someone retires or leaves the company.
• Celebrate their wins.
• Treat them with grace on their bad days.

Final Thought: Imperfect people can do amazing things. You might think your contribution is insignificant—pouring concrete, buying a pie, making a phone call—but to the person on the receiving end, it might change everything.

Go out there and be a giver.