Don’t Just Change the World — Change Your Own: A Guide to Self-Betterment
Welcome back to the Choices Podcast!
In a world obsessed with global problems and political gridlock, it’s easy to feel powerless. We watch the drama unfold in Washington, D.C., and feel that familiar frustration of knowing things could be better, if only people would reach across the aisle and shake hands. As Carcass wisely noted, many talk about changing the world, but few talk about changing themselves.
Here at Choices, we believe that the only change you can truly control, and the only change that matters most to your daily life, is the one you initiate within. It’s time for some “scatter shooting” on the crucial practice of learning to better yourself.
Clean Your Own Barn First
The journey to self-improvement begins with a stark realization: We can’t do anything to change the world circumstances, but we can change ourselves.
This concept, beautifully summed up by the adage, “Don’t tell me to clean my barn until yours is spotless,” is not about isolation; it’s about setting a foundation of personal integrity. If we want better leaders, better neighbors, and better communities, we must first become better individuals.
This personal revolution is about focusing our energy on the things we can actually control—namely, us.
The Imperative of a Spiritual Anchor
The foundation of a centered life often comes from something bigger than ourselves. Whether you embrace a formal spiritual path or practice quiet meditation, starting your day with intention is non-negotiable.
As one of us shared, listening to a daily devotional or using a mindfulness app like Calm can set your day straight. This fifteen minutes of focus can significantly reduce daily stress, anger, and anxiety. It’s an investment in your heart that pays dividends in your interactions with others.
If you find yourself easily agitated by traffic or minor annoyances, try this simple spiritual shift: focus on being centered and let people cut in front of you. It’s a tiny act of self-control that asserts your peace over the chaos of the outside world.
The Power of Practice and the Example You Set
Self-betterment isn’t a one-time event; it’s a list of daily habits.
One powerful tool for managing the inner life is daily journaling. By checking in with emotions like guilt, anger, and fear, and always finishing with a sense of pride in something, you align your actions with your values.
The amazing thing about this practice? After years of doing it, the 12 things that keep you moving forward—things like lifting weights, staying hydrated, a daily devotional, and even simply having fun—stay pretty much the same. These are the routines that work.
Your Head on a Swivel: Setting the Standard
Beyond internal practice, we must recognize that we are constantly setting an example. As parents, friends, and neighbors, our actions are a blueprint for those around us. Keep your “head on a swivel”—not out of paranoia, but out of awareness that someone is always watching.
This includes:
- Offering Common Courtesy: Be the guy who holds the door, even if someone “rebels” against the gesture. True kindness is a powerful influence.
- Know the Facts: An opinion that isn’t based on facts and truth is invalid. We must stop gossiping and spewing information that is unverified. Truth doesn’t care about your feelings, so anchor your beliefs in reality.
The Retirement Test: Did You Retire, or Did You Quit?
The ultimate test of a life spent in pursuit of betterment is the transition into retirement. This is where your daily habits and internal plan are put to the fire.
For those who view retirement as simply quitting the workforce, the result can be cognitive decline, loneliness, and depression. When the structure of a career is gone, you can’t stay in the same place for long—you either go up or down.
The Retirement Plan for the Soul
If you’re approaching this major life change, you need a plan to keep you healthy for you. The decision to retire without a plan is essentially telling your body and mind that you quit.
If you or a friend is struggling with retirement, remember this difficult lesson: You cannot change or heal what you do not acknowledge. You can’t fix someone who isn’t willing to admit there’s a problem.
However, you can still show up. Your presence and your example are sometimes the only hope you can offer.
- Be the Messenger: Visit the sick and afflicted. You may not be able to change their behavior, but you can set a positive example and give them hope.
- Don’t Let Ego Lead: You visit others for their benefit, not just to make yourself feel better. If you expect them to change on your timeline, you’ll be frustrated. Your role is simply to be present and to do the right thing.
As Carcass reminds us, small acts of consistency can slowly melt the ice off a cold heart. You always miss all the shots you never take—so take the shot. Be present.
The Final Choice: Love Yourself First
This entire conversation boils down to one essential, guiding principle. In the words of the great Lucille Ball:
“Love yourself first, and everything falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
This isn’t vanity; it’s self-preservation. It’s hard to pull someone else out of the gutter if you’re not standing firmly on the sidewalk yourself.
Your choices—the decision to eat well, to serve others, to read more, or just to wave with all your fingers in traffic—are all expressions of self-love. Make that choice today, and every day, to be the best version of yourself.
Love yourself, take care of yourself, so you can truly take care of others.
Everybody have a great day, drive safe, and we’ll see you next week on Choices Podcast.
