This simple yet profound statement serves as the foundation for the Choices Podcast episode you shared, featuring Alastair Howie and Dr. Karkas. It’s a powerful theme that explores how we navigate adversity and the choice we have in our response to it.
The conversation beautifully illustrates that when faced with challenges, pain, or disappointment, we can allow the negative experiences to harden us, making us resentful and cynical—that’s getting bitter. Or, we can choose to learn from them, grow stronger, and become more resilient and compassionate—that’s getting better.
The discussion touches on several key points that highlight this choice, from a personal perspective to a broader, spiritual one.
Living from the Heart, Not the Head
A central theme of the podcast episode is the idea of moving from our heads to our hearts. As Alastair points out, many people live intellectually, focusing on the external, like financial freedom or status. However, true freedom, he argues, is an inner freedom that comes from the heart. He references scripture, “Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks,” suggesting that our words and actions are a direct reflection of our internal state.
The conversation explores how living from the heart allows for a more grounded and peaceful existence, free from the need to constantly prove something or engage in conflict. This inner freedom is a powerful antidote to bitterness.
The Power of Listening and Shared Experience
The hosts and their guest Alastair discuss the transformative power of listening to others’ stories, particularly in a setting like the Discovery seminar they mention. By listening to the pain and hurt of others, we gain perspective on our own struggles. As Dr. Karkas shares, this process can lead to the realization that our problems might not be as bad as we thought, and they may be more accurately seen as “challenges” rather than insurmountable burdens.
This shared vulnerability fosters a sense of community and support, where people “fight for each other’s freedom.” It’s in this act of helping others that we often find healing for ourselves, transforming our own losses—whether they are a job, a relationship, or a loved one—into opportunities for growth.
Building a Better Culture, Starting with the Leader
Alastair’s work, which focuses on helping Christian business owners and ministry leaders, ties the “bitter or better” concept to professional life. He argues that a better culture starts with a better leader—someone who is committed to their own personal and spiritual growth. This requires humility, a willingness to be a “learner” (or disciple), and an understanding that their business belongs to a higher purpose.
This perspective challenges the conventional view of leadership, which often prioritizes external success. Instead, it places the emphasis on internal values and a servant’s heart, demonstrating that true success is not measured by profit alone but by the integrity and values that guide decision-making.
Ultimately, the podcast episode echoes the idea that our lives are a testament to our choices. We all face challenges, but it’s our response that determines our path. Will we allow ourselves to become bitter, isolated, and resentful? Or will we choose to get better, becoming more compassionate, resilient, and free? The choice is ours.
